If you're a high school athlete looking to play at the next level, recruitment is an exciting but competitive process. Every interaction you have with college coaches helps shape their impression of you—not just as a player, but as a person. While talent is crucial, your professionalism, attitude, and communication skills can significantly increase, or decrease, your chances of earning an offer. This guide highlights common recruiting mistakes to avoid, so you can approach conversations with college coaches confidently and make a strong impression.
1. Communicate Professionally
Every interaction with a college coach—whether by email, text, phone call, or in-person conversation—shapes their impression of you. Your communication should reflect professionalism, confidence, and respect. A poorly written or overly casual message can make you seem uninterested or unprepared, while clear, well-structured communication helps you stand out.
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What to Do:
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Be professional in emails and messages. Check out the recruiting prep section under sophomore year for detailed example templates on how to email and communicate with college coaches.
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Use complete sentences with proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling. A sloppy message can make it seem like you don’t care.
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Prepare for interview questions on unofficial and official visits. Coaches will evaluate how you carry yourself and how well you fit their program. Here’s a list of questions they’re likely to ask and how to answer them confidently.
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What NOT to Do:
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Don’t send short, informal messages. Example: "Hey coach, I wanna play for you. Here’s my highlights. Let me know what you think."
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Don’t overload your message with too much info or come across as arrogant. Example: "Hey Coach, my name is Jake, I play basketball, I’m 6’2, I’m really good, I wanna go D1, and I hope you can help me."
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Don’t brag or make assumptions. Example: "I'm Tara and I play soccer. I'm captain and the best on my team and think I could be the best or close to the best on yours too. I'm talking to a ton of D1 schools right now. I'd love to talk about getting a scholarship to your school. Thanks."
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Don’t mass-email coaches without personalization. It’s okay to work off a template since you’ll be saying similar things to each coach (highlight reel, school, position, etc.), but it’s important to customize your message to them and their program. Check out this article under the "Recruiting Prep" section under sophomore year for detailed email templates on how to invite a coach to your game, thank them for attending, and follow up.
2. Respond Quickly to College Coach Emails & Calls
When a college coach reaches out, how and when you respond can impact their impression of you as a recruit. A general rule of thumb: reply within 24 hours at most. Quick responses show that you’re engaged, responsible, and serious about the recruiting process. Delayed responses—or worse, no response—can signal disinterest, even if that’s not your intent.
Even if you’re not currently interested in a school, it’s still important to respond. Recruiting is unpredictable—offers shift, rosters change, and coaching staff decisions evolve. A school you’re unsure about now might become your best option later. Keeping relationships open ensures you have options if your recruiting situation changes.
Best Practices:
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Reply to all emails within 24 hours. A prompt response demonstrates respect for the coach’s time and signals your professionalism.
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If you miss a coach’s call, respond as soon as possible. Example: "Hi Coach [Last Name], I hope you're doing well. I’m sorry I missed your call. I’d love to speak when you have a free moment. Let me know if you have any availability today or in the coming days. I’m looking forward to connecting soon. Thank you."
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Take all calls, even from schools you’re unsure about. Recruiting situations change quickly, and a school that wasn’t on your radar may become the right fit later. Keeping the conversation open ensures you don’t close doors too soon.
3. Do Not Have Your Parents Reach Out to Coaches
Coaches want to hear from you—not your parents. If your parents handle your emails, calls, or visits, it signals to coaches that you may not be ready for the independence of college athletics. Your recruitment is your responsibility, and taking ownership of the process shows maturity and initiative.
Your parents can be a great resource for discussing your options and helping you navigate the recruiting process, but they shouldn’t be the ones communicating directly with college coaches. Their role should be supportive—helping with organization and decision-making—while you take the lead in building relationships with coaches.
Taking the lead in your own recruitment can feel intimidating at first, but it’s an important step in showing coaches that you’re ready for the next level. Communicating with them directly—whether through email, phone calls, or in-person conversations—might feel outside your comfort zone, but it gets easier with practice. If you’re unsure where to start, this article under “Sophomore Year” in the “Recruiting Prep” section provides detailed email templates on how to invite a coach to your game, thank them for attending, and follow up. You should also be prepared for the questions coaches will ask on visits—this guide can help you feel more confident and ready for those conversations.
4. Never Speak Poorly About Coaches or Teammates
Coaches pay close attention to how athletes handle challenges and adversity. Speaking negatively about coaches or teammates signals a tendency to shift blame rather than take accountability. College coaches want athletes who reflect on their own performance, learn from mistakes, and work through problems constructively. If you constantly blame others, it suggests insecurity and an inability to take responsibility—two traits that can make you a liability in a competitive team environment.
Examples of What to Avoid:
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"My coach doesn’t know what he’s doing."
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"My team sucks, I carry them every game."
What to Say Instead:
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"I’ve learned a lot from my coach, even in tough situations, and I focus on improving my own game."
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"I try to be a leader and help my team improve every game, regardless of the circumstances."
5. Show Humility When Discussing Other Schools
The way you talk about different programs tells coaches a lot about your character. You may believe you’re a Division I recruit—and that may be true—but treating lower Division I, Division II, or Division III schools as beneath you is a mistake.
Imagine you're on an unofficial visit at a Division I program, and the coach asks what other schools have shown interest in you. How you answer matters. If you dismiss certain programs or speak negatively about schools you perceive as lesser, it can leave the wrong impression. The coach may see you as arrogant, overly confident, or not a good fit for their team culture.
Beyond that, coaches talk. Word spreads quickly about recruits with the wrong attitude, and burning bridges—whether intentionally or not—can come back to hurt you. Recruiting is unpredictable. Rosters change, offers shift, and the school you overlook today could be your best opportunity tomorrow. Respect every program, because the right fit isn’t always the one you expect.
What to Say:
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"I’m grateful to be in contact with several great programs, including [School Name], [School Name], and [School Name]. I’m still in the process of evaluating what’s the best fit."
What NOT to Say:
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"I mean, I guess I’m talking to [Smaller School], but I doubt I’ll go there. I feel like I can do better. I’m really only looking at [Bigger School]."
6. Be a Good Teammate—Especially When Coaches Are Watching
Coaches aren’t just looking for the most talented players; they want team-first athletes who bring positive energy to the locker room. If you’re the type of player who sulks after a bad play or blames teammates when things go wrong, that’s a red flag. Your body language, effort, and how you interact with others tell coaches everything they need to know about your leadership potential.
Red Flag Behaviors:
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Rolling your eyes at teammates or coaches.
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Complaining, arguing, or showing negative body language.
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Giving up when losing or making mistakes.
What to Do Instead:
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Be vocal and encourage your teammates.
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Show leadership, even when things aren’t going your way.
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Keep your energy up, no matter the score.
7. Avoid Social Media Red Flags
Coaches check social media. Don’t let a careless post ruin your recruitment. What you share online is a reflection of your character, and if a coach sees something concerning, they may decide to move on to another athlete.
What to Avoid:
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Posting inappropriate content (profanity, offensive jokes, or anything unprofessional).
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Engaging in online arguments or negativity.
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Sharing anything that suggests poor sportsmanship or questionable behavior.
What to Do Instead:
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Keep your social media clean and professional.
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Think before you post—if a coach saw it, would it help or hurt your chances?
Final Thoughts
Recruiting is more than just talent—it’s about how you handle yourself on and off the field. Avoid these mistakes, and you’ll maximize your chances of earning a college sports opportunity.