The college recruiting process is exciting—it’s the culmination of years of hard work and dedication to your sport. But it’s also a time of uncertainty that can feel overwhelming. Coaches change their minds, priorities shift, and the constant balancing act of recruiting, academics, and athletics can leave you feeling stretched thin.
The truth is, parts of this journey will be outside of your control, and that’s what makes it stressful. But it’s also a unique and exciting opportunity to continue playing the sport you love at the next level. By focusing on your mental health and approaching the process with perspective, you can reduce the stress and even find joy in the journey. Here’s how to navigate recruiting while keeping your mind and well-being in check.
Focus on What You Can Control
One of the hardest parts of recruiting is how much feels out of your hands. Coaches might ghost you after showing interest, offers might not pan out, and timelines don’t always match your expectations. But stressing over these unknowns only drains your energy.
Instead, focus on the things you can control: showing up for workouts, improving your skills, maintaining good grades, and putting together strong recruiting materials. These are the steps that truly set you up for success, regardless of what happens outside your sphere of influence. Shifting your focus to what you can control not only eases stress but also reminds you that your effort matters.
Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
The recruiting process can be unpredictable. Coaches may seem enthusiastic one day and change direction the next. This is a reflection of the process, not of your worth as an athlete.
Keep your options open. While D1 programs can be amazing, don’t overlook the incredible opportunities at D2, D3, or NAIA schools. These programs often combine strong academics with highly competitive athletics. In fact, some D2 and D3 schools can outshine lower-tier D1 programs.
What matters most is finding a school where you can thrive academically, athletically, and personally. If you’re determined to play your sport in college, there’s a place for you—you just have to stay open to the possibilities.
Celebrate the Small Wins
Recruiting can feel like it’s all about the endgame—an offer, a commitment, a spot on a roster. But those big moments are only part of the story. Along the way, there are countless small victories that are worth celebrating: getting a response from a coach, improving your personal best, or shining in a key game.
Acknowledging these moments keeps the journey positive. They’re proof that your hard work is paying off, even if the ultimate destination isn’t clear yet. Celebrate your progress—it’s just as important as the milestones.
Keep It Private
The recruiting process can sometimes feel like a competition, especially when teammates or peers start sharing their offers or visits. While it’s tempting to join in, keeping your own journey private can help you avoid unnecessary pressure or comparisons.
Recruiting is unpredictable—offers change, opportunities shift, and the landscape evolves. By keeping the details between you, your family, and your coaches, you create space to focus on what matters: finding the right fit for you without the distractions of outside opinions.
It’s not about being secretive. It’s about protecting your mental space and allowing yourself to navigate this experience on your own terms.
Take Care of Yourself
It’s easy for recruiting to feel like it’s taking over your life, but carving out time for yourself is essential. Make room for things outside of your sport—whether that’s spending time with friends, reading, listening to music, or just relaxing.
Giving yourself permission to step away doesn’t mean you’re less committed. It means you’re smart enough to recognize that breaks are part of success. When you come back to your sport, you’ll feel more refreshed, focused, and ready to tackle the next step.
Build a Support System
Recruiting can feel isolating, but you’re not in this alone. Lean on the people who care about you—family, friends, teammates, or trusted coaches. Talking through your frustrations or concerns can lighten the load and remind you that you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.
A good support system can also help you keep things in perspective. Whether it’s offering advice or just being a sounding board, the people who have your back want to see you succeed in all areas of life.
Put Things in Perspective
Right now, the recruiting process might feel like the most important thing in the world. It’s natural to feel that way when you’ve worked so hard to get to this point. But when the pressure builds, take a step back and think about the bigger picture.
Playing your sport in college is a huge accomplishment, no matter what division, program, or school you end up at. In a few years, the stress of recruiting will be behind you, and you’ll be focused on the experience of competing, learning, and growing.
Recruiting is just one part of your journey—it’s a pathway, not the destination. Remind yourself that this moment, while important, isn’t the sum of everything you’ve worked for.
Parents: Be Supportive
Being the parent of a kid going through the recruiting process probably means you haven’t had a free weekend in who knows how long. Between the games, the practices, the camps, the travel—it’s a lot. You’ve poured your time, energy, and money into helping your child achieve their dream of playing at the collegiate level. You’re doing everything you can to set them up for success, and that’s no small feat.
But here’s the thing: The pressure of the recruiting process often creates stress for athletes, and in those moments, what they need most is your love and encouragement. As a parent, it’s natural to want the best for your child and to feel invested in their journey. However, it’s important to remember that it’s the coach’s job to evaluate your athlete’s performance and provide guidance on how to improve. It’s also important to remember that your kid is likely their own harshest critic. The most important thing you can do during this time is reassure them while teaching them how to love themselves and pick themselves back up after a less-than-ideal performance.
It’s important to understand that when things go wrong, it’s part of the process. We’ve all heard the phrase “bad game,” and it’s because all athletes have them. But if their worth is tied to how they perform every time, it’s easy to spiral. The constant pressure can lead to burnout, and in the long run, it’ll hurt their performance. They need to know you’re in their corner, no matter what. That belief from you makes all the difference in how they face their next challenge.
So when things don’t go well, be the steady presence they need. Remind them that one game, one performance, doesn’t define their journey. Their worth isn’t in their stats, their wins, or their rankings. It’s in the hard work, grit, and determination they put into their training, practices, and games—the things that will build their character in the long run. That’s what truly matters, and that’s what should be celebrated.
Taking the time to read this article means you’re already doing something important. You’re investing in your athlete’s well-being, trying to understand how to best support them through one of the most stressful parts of their journey. That effort shows your commitment—not just to their success, but to their growth as a person. And that’s exactly what they need from you right now.
Final Thoughts
The college recruiting process can be stressful, but it’s also an incredible opportunity. It’s a chance to continue doing what you love, to grow as an athlete and a person, and to set the stage for an exciting new chapter.
While some aspects of the process will always be uncertain, taking care of your mental health and keeping things in perspective can make the journey smoother—and even enjoyable. This is a moment to celebrate how far you’ve come and embrace what lies ahead.
You’ve worked hard to get here, and that in itself is something to be proud of.
